i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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