yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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