i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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