...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize