woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
