also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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