dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
