He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
