we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
