Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
