I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
