Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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