I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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