it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
