He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
