if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
farters have to be the big spoon...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
