Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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