Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
