Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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