idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
