btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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