Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
