I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
