return my video game
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
