Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
