We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
