Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
