His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
