thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
