I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
