I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
