Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
