hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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