Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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