i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the day after is always just damage control
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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