Your tits are I can't wait for
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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