Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
