I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he fucked my hip out of place.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
