High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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