these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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