ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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