I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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