I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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