So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
