erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
