Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
