He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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