Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
