they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
