Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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