There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize