I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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