I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
