I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
