16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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