Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There r osticjed everywhere
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
