its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
