Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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