just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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