I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
