we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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